Am I Fat?

I feel disgusting. 

If I'm honest, I haven't felt good about my body for a couple years but it reached its peak last night when I spent $6 in Postmates delivery fees for $4 worth of Jack In The Box. I felt disgusting ordering it, I felt disgusting eating it and I feel disgusting now. 

 I'm determined to not turn 31 feeling disgusting about myself. 

Honestly, it just comes down to me not being a lazy mother fucker and cooking my meals. I workout consistently so I know it's how I'm eating.  I also get too ambitious with meal planning and then I get overwhelmed and stop doing it. So I think if I start by just making meals for two days in a row (opposed to an entire week) and just eat the leftovers the second day - that would be a bit more manageable. Also, if I commitment myself to NOT SPENDING ANY MONEY ON TAKE OUT that would be helpful too. Maybe save money that I would normally spend on Postmates on a new purse? My first self bought designer purse? Tempting. 

I think I could do that. But I'm also writing this as I'm looking at an Ina Garten recipe for "Beatty's Chocolate Cake" so who knows.. 

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